Them There Eyes

Everything's Coming Up Rosie

ROSEMARY CLOONEY
May 23, 1928 - June 29, 2002

(We apologize for the sporadic updates... Mystery Guest reveal tomorrow, darlings!)

Queen Joan

Was there every any real doubt as to who would ultimately wear SSUWAT's coveted crown? Joan Crawford's entire life was an upward struggle to succeed, and she fiercely protected and defended the image she had worked so hard to create and maintain. It's easy to make fun of Crawford: the exaggerated eyebrows, shoulders and lips; the overly coordinated ensembles (with plastic-covered handbags and f*ck-me pumps to match); the intensity she would bring to scenes and dialogue that sometimes cried out for a lighter touch; the endless spate of tacky Mommie Dearest jokes.


But, in the end, Joan Crawford deserves our respect for her unyielding devotion to the business of being a Movie Star. Whatever her talent was as an actress -- and we do think Crawford's abilities are often given short shrift -- it paled in comparison to the frighteningly focused way she managed her fame and her public. No one played the game better than Joan Crawford, and she rarely let the facade drop. If Joan's biggest failing as a human being was her complete lack of empathy for those who were less driven than she, it must be noted that she demanded no more of her children, co-workers or employees than she demanded of herself -- it's just that very few others possessed her superhuman capacity for self-discipline.


In compiling our list of the dozen most-frequently-posted divas (who actually comprise the Top 10; there were two "ties" with equal numbers of posts), Joan Crawford far outpaced the competition; we have featured her no less than 135 times! Her closest competition was, ironically, her old nemesis Marilyn Monroe, who logged 66 posts -- tying her with rival bombshell Jayne Mansfield. The "runners up" who didn't make the Top 10, but still have been featured over 20 times a piece are:

Arlene Dahl

Doris Day

Ann-Margret

Sophia Loren

Barbara Stanwyck

Arlene Francis

Susan Hayward

What sayeth thou, fair readers? Who do you think deserving of a place in the Top 10? Who should be edged out of the current crop? Discuss!

The Sweetest Sounds

"...In came Marlene, with a great, big record -- great, BIG record! -- and she said, 'Oh, dahwings, would you like to hear my wehcord?' And she put the record on, and it was just applause! [And Marlene would lift needle and say] 'Und dot's Fwankfuht.' 'Dot's Berlin.' But not one note of music...just applause! And Noel [Coward] turned to me and said, 'I hope there's not another side!'" - Judy Garland

Make Your Own Kind of Music

Sing your own special song.

If You Want That Quelque Chose

Harlequin Romance

It's Sunday!!!

A time for prayerful poses and Peter Pan collars.

Put On Your Sunday Clothes

And don't forget the hat!

Will You Enter and Sign In, Please?

Yes, our latest Mystery Guest was, indeed, the luscious Ava Gardner. If the adjective "smoldering" hadn't yet been invented, then it would have had to have been coined to describe La Gardner. For our money, she completely surpassed her immediate predecessors and contemporaries (Hedy Lamarr, Rita Hayworth and Elizabeth Taylor) in nearly every department: looks, glamour, elegance and talent. She certainly was never the critics' darling, and never seemed to think much of her own abilities; but given strong material and a capable director, and Gardner brought not only her sensual, sexually-charged presence to the proceedings, but also an earthy honesty and surprising tenderness.


Widely acknowledged as one of the screen's great beauties from the very beginning of her career, by the late 1950's, Gardner was accused of allowing hard living, heavy drinking and rough loving to adversely affect her looks. In our humble opinion, the aging Gardner's looks may have changed, but didn't diminish. If anything, her bearing became more regal, while her allure was made even more erotically powerful by her maturity and experience.


After leaving the protection of her MGM contract in 1958 (she had called Metro "home" since 1941), and only occasionally leaving her adopted country of Spain, Gardner only made sporadic film appearances; On the Beach (1959) and The Night of the Iguana (1964) were worthwhile productions, while the majority of the rest were made "strictly for the loot," as Gardner blithely explained.


In 1985, Gardner had one last glamorous hurrah when she guest starred on five episodes of Knots Landing, still exuding the star power which had led to her being dubbed "The World's Most Beautiful Animal" decades earlier. Five years later, she was dead from pneumonia at age 67 - "The Last Goddess," trumpeted the People magazine cover story on her passing. Few members of Hollywood's fabled golden sorority deserved that sobriquet more.


A visitor from France, Dsata, was the first to guess La Gardner's identity (and we're loving her blog!) - the photo, by John Engstead, was formatted in such a way that we and normadesmond felt it obscured Gardner's instantly recognizable features; the original proof is below.


So, dear Dsata, you have your choice of a prize: would you prefer a Barefoot Contessa, or a Naked Maja? Or perhaps you'd simply like us to Bhowani your junction.

Stars in Her Eyes

JONI JAMES
September 22, 1930

The Greatest Of Them All

June 10, 1922 - June 22, 1969

It's the eternal question - Are we gay because we love Judy Garland, or do we love Judy Garland because we're gay? When all is said and done, though, beyond the folklore and mythology which has surrounded "Joots" since she was barely a teen; beyond the fact that she remains The Gayest Gay Icon Ever; Judy's talent is what has made and sustained her legend.

As far as we're concerned, no accolade or hosanna could be considered hyperbolic when it comes to Miss Judy, as stereotypical as that may sound, and for that we make no apologies. Very few performers touch us so deeply that their best work can move us to tears of joy, sadness, and sheer wonderment that so much talent could exist in one human being. Happy Birthday, Judy Garland! We're sure you're having a ball.

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