Weekly (Ha!) Feature #10

DISCLAIMER: This is a modified, updated version of an entry we originally did last year.

"J" is for...JOURNEYING.

With heartfelt apologies to ayem8y, we decided to forego jewelry as our tenth topic: honestly, our thoughts on the subject of gentlemen and jewelry are so terse and concise* (*In a word: don't. Unless you are as swankily chic as Niki de Gunzburg, or ayem8y [and so few of us are], take our word for it: you cannot carry it off.), that it hardly seemed worthwhile for us to devote an entire entry to it.

NIKI DE GUNZBURG BY HORST

No, what concerns us here is the topic of journeying - or, rather, what one wears on that journey. Once upon a time, people really did dress like Bette and Paul did when they went traveling: perhaps not as glamorously as they would have if Orry-Kelly had been designing their togs, but you get the idea: jacket and tie for gents, suits for ladies, hats for everyone.

FIRST PORT OF CALL: PAUL HENREID AND BETTE DAVIS TAKE IN THE BRAZILIAN SIGHTS IN NOW, VOYAGER (1942)

Somewhere along the line, people stopped dressing for travel. Nowadays, when we fly, we feel like weary, disapproving chaperones of a large combination slumber party and fraternity beer blast; the "ladies" all in pajamas, velour, and yoga pants, with the "gentlemen" in dirty tee shirts, shorts, and flip flops.

THE AMERICAN WAY OF GETTING PLACES, c. 1939: WILL IT EVER RETURN?

We understand, we really do. No one wants to be uncomfortable when they travel, particularly if it's a long international flight. Even if it isn't, dealing with surly security agents, cramped seating and endless delays can wrack your nerves. But that doesn't mean that any of us really want to see you in your pajamas, sans makeup. If we did, we would have married you.

OUR DREAM WEDDING TO AYEM8Y, WITH JASON, MISTRESS MJ, AND JILL IN ATTENDANCE

So, with your indulgence, permit us to share what we do when we travel abroad, which is typically a 9 hour flight. We normally travel twice a year, and our "uniform" rarely varies:

• Comfortable, well-tailored trousers in dark, tropical weight wool: black, or ideally, charcoal. They won't show wrinkles as much as lighter colors, such as khaki, would. And need we mention that they shouldn't be overly baggy (you'll look as if you're wearing a Hefty bag after a few hours) or fashion-victim tight (you'll have blood clots in your thighs after a few hours on a plane)?

• A clean, freshly pressed dress shirt. Stick with classic, basic white, or a simple check or stripe - nothing too loud or garish. Think worst-case scenarios here: would you mind wearing this shirt if the rest of your luggage never made it to your final destination?
  
  
• A lightweight V-neck or cardigan sweater. This is essential! For starters, the sweater won't show wrinkles nearly as badly as your shirt. Furthermore, airplanes can get ridiculously cold, no matter the season. Ideally, your sweater should be a thin wool or cashmere, which will better stand up to wrinkling.
  
  
• A coordinating sport coat. Should you be subjected to the nightmare of having your luggage lost, you at least will still have a sport coat at your disposal, which is a safeguard business travelers would be even wiser to adhere to. May we suggest the indispensible, classic navy blazer? Even on the rare occasions when we don't actually wear a blazer, we carry one over our arm. (It would also be wise to pack the most expensive shoes you'll be taking in your carry-on, along with a fresh change of underwear, a clean shirt, and a different pair of trousers.)
  
  
• In the spring and summer, a lightweight raincoat. In colder weather, an all-weather overcoat. These can be carried over your arm; packed neatly in your carry-on; stored in your overhead compartment; or, if you have a particularly accomodating cabin crew, hung in the closet for the duration of the flight.
  
  
• Comfortable shoes. This does not include flip flops or sneakers. Either driving shoes or very flexible lace-ups that are more pliable, and easy to get on and off, would be your best bet. As mentioned above, put the best, dressiest shoes you'll be traveling with in your carry-on.
  
  
• Small, travel- or sample-sized versions of face cleanser, moisturizer, toothpaste, and a disposable travel toothbrush. Also, a clean washcloth and a ziploc bag. Before landing, we duck into the lavatory, wash our face, brush our teeth, and throw the washcloth back into the ziploc. We also heartily recommend Fresh's Lotus Eye Gel, which instantly combats circles and puffiness; and Cosmedicine's Medi Matte, which battles shine like nobody's business. And both of these products are packaged in small, convenient, regulation-friendly tubes. Also, Visine eye drops are absolutely essential.
  
  
• Sunglasses. Because even with the eye gel and Visine, you may need them.
  

Put it all together, and voila! This is how we roll:

EN ROUTE TO VENICE'S LEONARDO DA VINCI AIRPORT

Of course, once you reach your destination, it is entirely your prerogative to doff your traveling duds and just relax:

We also make sure that we are scrupulously clean and pressed before ever setting foot on the airplane to begin with; and everything that we pack is also freshly laundered, cleaned, and pressed. For extra insurance against sloppiness, we also pack a travel-size iron and steamer. Don't laugh; but we do feel that when we travel, particularly abroad, we are, in a way, representing The American Tourist in general. If we can combat that largely negative stereotype in any way, we are glad to do so!

BON VOYAGE!

Weekly Feature #9

I is for... Inspiration (versus Imitation).

Lana Turner looks horrified at the suggestion that her Jean Louis original may be an Imitation of Life.

When we were clumsily forming our own taste and style, back in the Dark Ages prior to the Internet, we were pretty much on our own, armed only with movies and GQ magazine as guideposts. The results weren't always great (in fact, they were largely awful), but we made our mistakes, learned from them, and gradually developed our sense of self and, consequently, our sense of style.

In the 1980's, GQ was our life raft of style. Somehow, we survived.

Today, we marvel at the sharp, shiny, cookie-cutter pristineness of modern teenagers who flawlessly mimic the looks they've seen on Gossip Girl and The Hills. In some ways, we slightly envy the bevy of information available at their fingertips in this media-saturated age: simply copying, look for look and lock for lock, the "style" of these celebrities goes a long way towards smoothing out the bumps of what used to be the awkward years. We've seen 13 year old girls looking like eerie Rachel Zoe clones, and their 14 year old boyfriends sporting Zac Efron-worthy styled hair.

Reader, beware: choose your influences wisely.

On the flip side, such camp following eradicates any individual style whatsoever, in two ways: not only can a slavish copy of someone else's look (or, for that matter, a shop mannequin, or magazine layout) never be truly chic, because it won't have the intangible quality of individuality; but the generic style "icons" (quotation marks pointedly and emphatically used) most people are copying these days are themselves are largely products of stylists, and high-profile shills for designers hawking their wares to the engrossed readers of In Style and US Weekly.

When it comes to style, inspiration should never be confused with imitation.

Since we're not completely immune to the 21st century, and its insistence on sound byte-sized snippets of information, here is a list of what's been inspiring us lately. What has been, we emphasize, not who.

• Interiors. Thanks to our darling Toby Worthington, our interest in the elegance of hearth and home has quadrupled. A well-ordered, well-proportioned, elegantly-appointed room is probably the most difficult thing to achieve, so now, when we see one that we like, we get inspired by its colors and lines. A magnificent New York townhouse done in shades of pumpkin and aubergine made our mouth water; Mr. Worthington's flawless living room in greens and yellows had a similar effect. Both color combinations have made their way into our wardrobe.
  
  
  Helena Rubinstein also endorses pumpkin and aubergine.
  
  Texture. We've been playing with this element a lot more lately, especially as the weather turns cool, and layering is possible. Our white-and-black mini houndstooth check suit, in luxuriously comfortable worsted wool, has such a soft texture, that it reads grey more than stark black and white, opening it to a whole vista of possibilities. We paired it recently with a rough-hewn lambswool vest in hunter green, moss green, and gingerbread brown argyle; a textured silk bow tie in plum with wide-spaced flecks of bronze; a wet silk pocket square in dark green, with repeating patterns in pumpkin, navy and bronze; medium-grey merino wool socks; and handmade oxford lace-ups in antiqued oak. The colors combined seamlessly, the textures played off each other beautifully, and we admittedly purred and preened in multiple compliments during the course of a delicious evening.
  
  
  Check, please: call out the houndstooth.
  
  
• Music. Music has always been one of our ruling passions; but it's become even more of an inspiration lately. Our taste has always been quite catholic, and continues to be; but even though the Great American Songbook has long been a staple in our collection, it's taken on a greater resonance of late. More specifically, we've been paring things down to the simplest approach, and really listening to the lyrics. (The simple vocal stylings of Mary Cleere Haran, Carol Sloane, Fred Astaire and Bobby Short, for instance, in their straightforwardly soigne approach, as opposed to the brasher charms of, say, Mimi Hines. [Who still has a place in our hearts, and playlists, bless her socks.]) In these turbulent times, the eloquent, elegant, romantic lyricism of Lorenz Hart, Cole Porter, Johnny Mercer and their contemporaries is a much-needed antidote, and helps us to envision the ideal gentleman we place on a pedestal.
  
  
  Mr. Astaire: dancing in the dark, never dressing in it.
  
  
• Food. We've always been obsessed with food, too; but again, we've recently taken a less-is-more approach and have been luxuriating in the pleasures of unpretentious dishes, beautifully and simply prepared. It suits our state of mind right now, as well as, we think, the current state of affairs. Who wants to eat fussy foams, miniscule macrobiotics, or overpriced omasake these days? Our current favorites: braised tripe with chickpeas; lamb stew over polenta; thin-sliced pork belly steeped in olive oil and rosemary; boiled beef in its own broth; and any perfectly-executed pasta dish. Style, really, has so much to do with being comfortable in your own skin: it follows that we gravitate towards comfort food. It isn't all champagne and caviar, dears.
  
  
  A jug of wine, a plate of pasta, and Marcello Mastroianni: timeless style, effortless cool.

Of course, there are countless other influences and inspirations which present themselves everyday, usually having to do with color: the shade of a flower has sent us around town, determined to find it in a tie or pocket square or something, anything. Nature, artwork, a snippet of dialogue, poetry or prose - anything creative, which sparks the imagination, can be the catalyst for style. We hope that SSUWAT provides a little bit of inspiration, too. One thing we've resisted doing is posting photos of our own outfits; it seems dually self-serving (a commentary of which designers we're wearing seems so smug, not to mention indiscreet) and self-defeating: the very purpose of these posts is to encourage people to hone and develop and appreciate their own individuality, not to send them running to buy an exact copy of What We're Wearing, or even to ooh and aah over the labels. Have confidence in your own style - open your eyes, your ears, your minds - and, of course, continue to watch this space, darlings!

Weekly Feature #8

H is for... Handsomeness.



Beauty is, of course, in the eye of the beholder: but it must be admitted that there are certain strains of catch-all male attractiveness which are almost universally accepted as being generically "handsome." And just as style maven Dorothy Draper once wryly noted, "There are no unconscious Helens of Troy," there are no accidental Adonises, either. But for those of us who will never be mistaken for soap opera stars or Men's Health models, take heart: by and large, the best-dressed, most elegant men in the world have rarely been the conventionally best-looking.

The illusion of perfection: Archie Leach had a pudgy face, a bull neck, crooked teeth and bow legs; but as CARY GRANT, he worked hard to achieve almost unreal standards of male elegance.

We realized early on that, in order to be considered attractive, we would have to compete on a completely different level than the jocks or pretty boys. We didn't have the luxury of a rippled body or chiseled face to fall back on; instead, how we dressed, how we presented ourselves, and the style with which we did so, became our paramount consideration.

He may not have been drop dead gorgeous, but his style was impeccable; and FRED ASTAIRE still always got the girl.

So, perhaps you realize that your jawline isn't as rock-solid as John Gavin's, your chest not up to Guy Madison standards, and your stature nowhere near as imposing as Clint Walker's. The not-devastatingly-handsome male can either become a polished, elegant gentleman a la Fred Astaire, or he can even more easily take the road frequently traveled and become a designer-clad freak show (think Carson Kressley, Elton John, Steven Cojocaru, and their ilk). Tread carefully: a woman who overdresses can sometimes be forgiven; a man with delusions of sartorial splendor (and a blithe disregard for their figure flaws) is absolutely insufferable.

CARSON KRESSLEY: Don't let this happen to you.

There is, unfortunately, no textbook or checklist on how to acquire or cultivate individual style: you have to ruthlessly, honestly assess your own flaws and assets, and adjust accordingly. Since such assessment, reinvention, and application is entirely individual, we can only relay how we transformed ourselves from duckling to swan, and hope that you can apply some of the advice and principles we offer to suit your own needs.

• We cut the fat. We will offer no diet tips or exercise hints here; as diet- and exercise-phobics, we frankly don't endorse a hard body as being something to kill yourselves acquiring (whereas we'd fight a deathmatch over, say, bespoke shoes). But it does go without saying that being physically fit and a reasonable weight makes it much easier to achieve an elegant appearance. Nearly a decade and a half ago, we lost over 80 lbs. in a conscious effort to achieve a more lithsome, and, it follows, more elegant carriage. Could we still be elegant if we hadn't? Certainly; robust Helena Rubenstein was every bit an equal for birdlike Coco Chanel in the chic department. The bottom line is, what makes you feel good about yourself? We felt more comfortable being slim, and so it was. Just as the once-ungainly Maria Callas plastered her kitchen with photographs of Audrey Hepburn as she dieted down to glamorous slimness, we envisioned the slender likes of Noel and Fred and felt they were more attainable ideals than, say, Sean Connery.
  
  
  
  NOEL COWARD may have often laid it on thick, but his physique was as trim as it could be.
  
  

• We shaved it off. We hated our hair: it was fine, thin, and just laid lank and unresponsive unless it was ratted up like a teenage Jezebel. So we finally shaved it off, and have never looked back. Fortunately, the look suits us; it's definitely not for everyone, just as close-cropped hair makes some women look impossibly chic, and others simply mannish. Again, the principle here is to discover which style suits you, and stick with it. Hairstyles will date you and your photo albums quicker than any trendy costume can. If you look at 10-15 years worth of our photos, it's near-impossible to date them by an unfortunate shag, faux-hawk, or the like. Of course, a shaved head is simplicity taken to the extreme, but it goes without saying that a simple, classic hairstyle will hold you in good stead wherever you go, at any age, in any company, at any time.
  
  
  
  
  
  1999 - 2009: a decade of TJB.
  
  
  
• We made peace with our shape - and friends with our tailor. As Joe E. Brown reassured Jack Lemmon in Some Like it Hot, "Nobody's perfect." Even after losing 80 lbs. and whittling our waistline to 29 inches, our lack of a V-shaped torso means that we nip our suit jackets and sport coats in at the waist, to create the illusion of broader shoulders and a defined waistline. Our practically non-existent backside created the necessity for wearing those jackets and sport coats, as well as having our trousers scrupulously tailored to not "sag" around the seat. Our relatively small stature (5'7") also makes us very aware of sleeve length, hem length, and ensuring that we do our best to create long visual lines, rather than "cutting ourselves in half," as it were. We try not to wear too many colors at one time, but play with shades, patterns and textures to keep things from being boring and monochromatic. And little things do mean a lot: matching the color of our socks to the color of our trousers makes our legs look longer, rather than chopped off at the ankles; keeping our jacket or sport coat buttoned shows off the illusion of a defined waistline and makes one look thinner in general.
  
  
  Little things mean some socks: TJB knows hose.
  
  
  

• We developed a "look." You wouldn't, we hope, let your best friend buy something adorable and trendy which would, however, make them look absolutely hideous. Once you've mastered the art of maxmizing your assets and minimizing your flaws, you will never allow yourself to indulge in a trend just for the sake of it, unless it happens to suit you and your style, your signature look. The world's best-dressed men and women are rarely thought of as chameleons: Babe Paley, Gianni Agnelli, the Windsors - all are revered as style icons, and all displayed sustained consistency and timelessness in their dress. Even the outrageous and irreverent Iris Apfel remained remarkably consistent in her eclectic, eccentric look. We've learned what works and doesn't work for us; and any time when we've deviated too far from that template, it never quite works out, because the look may be cute, it may be of the moment, it may be entirely correct on a fashionable level - but it's not us.
  
  
  

  Consistency, thy name is Windsor: the Duke and Duchess in 1938 and circa 1968, respectively.
  
  
  
• We accepted the fact that size does not matter. Not when it comes to our wardrobe, anyway. We'd rather have one or two impeccable outfits and wear them until they're threadbare, rather than have two dozen merely OK ensembles, or worse, a scattershot collection of disposable fashion and mismatched pieces. We've tailored our wardrobe to our lifestyle and those assets and flaws we've already identified. We buy the best we can afford, and plan ahead to ensure that as many pieces work in calibration with others in our wardrobe as possible.
  
  
  More calibrated timelessness: our vintage 1920's and 1930's wristwatches.
  
  

• We lived, lived, lived! We firmly believe that it's impossible to be a truly elegant individual with a provincial point of view. Even if circumstances dictate that you remain an armchair traveler, one must have curiosity and interest in other people, places and cultures. It's all well and good to have, as we do, an insatiable appetite for clothes and dressing well. If that's where your interests begin and end, however, you'll be a vapid mannequin, and nothing more. We feel that the art of dressing well is, indeed, an art - and our love for it is an extention of our love of beauty and the arts in general. There is as much elegance and order in a well-designed building, a well-executed sculpture, a well-written phrase, a well-planned menu as there is in an impeccably-chosen outfit.

We can honestly say that we've been considered by many, if not necessarily most, people as qualifying as "handsome" for most of our adult life, but it's a description that rests more on dint of hard work, serious self-examination and self-awareness than it does on "natural beauty." And although we more or less gave ourselves what could be termed a "makeover," what we've striven to achieve has nothing to do with silicone, makeup, or even designer labels: it has everything to do with confidence, empowerment and a willingness to accept ourselves as we are - and then accentuate our very best. There is something attractive and unique in all of us; the trick is to showcase those qualities, rather than burying them beneath tinsel, or allowing them to fade to grey in the background. Now, as we've said before: Go forth and be fabulous, darlings!

Special thanks to MR. PEACOCK.

Weekly Feature #7

G is for... GROOMING

(This is a very belated continuation of an earlier weekly feature, the archives of which can be found here. If we can get our act together, this will normally appear every Sunday.)

Grooming is as essential as, or even more essential than, a well-planned wardrobe to being elegant and well-dressed. It's impossible to be truly well-turned out if your fingernails are dirty (or untrimmed); if you look unclean or unshaven; if your clothing is wrinkled or soiled. An impeccably cut suit will not disguise your lack of deodorant, or sleep-matted hair.

We all know the very basics: a good bath or shower; a thorough face wash; brushing of teeth and mouthwash; application of deodorant; these go without saying. But here are a few products and practices which you may have overlooked, in the order in which we implement them in our daily routine.

• Lube it up and take it off. Your stubble, that is. We estimate that about only 2% of the actual male population genuinely looks sexy, ruggedly handsome, or mysterious with day- or days-old scruff. Most of us just look like unshaven clots. Here's how we do it: first, apply a hot washcloth to the face to open up the pores. Then, apply a thin yet substantial layer of shaving oil (we vouch for Anthony's Pre-Shave Oil). This last step is essential, as it ensures a smooth shave and drastically reduces your chances for nicks or scratches. Apply shaving cream over the oil. Shave with the grain of your beard. Rinse with warm water, then apply a hot washcloth again. Reapply shaving oil and shaving cream, then shave again (this time with a feather-light touch), against the grain of your beard. Rinse again with warm water, then cold to close the pores. Also: remember that your stubble grows back. We shave once in the morning, and once again in the evening if we're going out for dinner, a party, etc.
• Lend a helping hand. Remember to examine your hands before you leave the house: as corny as it sounds, rough, chapped or ill-cared-for hands are thoroughly unpleasant to look at, and certainly no pleasure to shake hands with. This means trimmed, clipped fingernails (if you do indulge in the luxury of a manicure, and you are a man, we beseech you: skip the clear polish and just get them buffed) and moisturized skin. We heartily endorse the good old-fashioned, inexpensive, readily-available Neutrogena Norweigan Formula Hand Cream. It forms a practically seal-tight protective layer of moisture, yet doesn't feel greasy or sticky - far more effective, and far less expensive, than any of the hoity-toity concoctions we've tried over the years. And while we don't thoroughly approve of the practice of wearing flip-flops or sandals on the city streets, the habit has become so ubiquitous that we're somewhat resigned to it and simply ask that if you must show your feet to the world, then please take the same care in their appearance and maintenance.
• Donna Mills was right - the eyes have it. Bloodshot, tired-looking eyes give you the appearance of a mug shot. Make Visine part of your daily morning ritual. And although two or three years ago, we wouldn't have even thought about eye cream, time waits for no man, and it is now a necessity. Fresh's Lotus Eye Gel is cooling, calming and refreshing, and the only application with which we've had marked, almost-instantaneous results.
• Grease is not the word! No one likes to look at a greasy visage. After moisturizing, we apply a very thin layer of Cosmedicine's Medi-Matte formula to our T-zone, which keeps us looking shine-free for the better part of the day. We also always have a fresh cotton handkerchief tucked in our breast pocket to pat our brow with as needed, especially during the brutal New York City summers.
• Use common sense when applying your scent. Your arrival shouldn't be heralded by your smell. Also, dispense with the atomizer and use the splash bottle of your cologne: rubbing it directly onto the skin is more effective, and won't tempt you to over-spritz yourself. We apply some to our chest, just above our Secret Gentleman Place, and behind our knees and elbows, but not to the neck or throat. This way, our delightful aroma is only detectable at very close range. We also recommend switching your fragrances with the seasons; in the warmer months, we prefer a more bracing, citrus-y scent, while the cooler weather finds us embracing muskier, spicier scents.
• You never know how many frogs and princes you might meet today. Don't forget an application of lip balm. Cracked, chapped lips are revolting and, we suspect, unsanitary. For years, we swore by Prada Beauty's lip balm capsules, which last for hours and don't look glossy; but honestly, a few swipes of plain Chap Stick does the job just as well.
• Stay band box fresh and snappy. Your outfit should not only be laundry-day clean and fresh, but also scrupulously pressed. We realize that this can sound either expensive or time consuming, or both, but we must insist upon it. Who would honestly want to admit to wearing dirty clothes? And while wrinkles on your face may show character and experience, wrinkles on your outfit just show laziness and sloppiness.
• Sparkle, Neely, sparkle! This includes your footwear, too. Besides taking care of your shoes (invest in good cedar trees, ideally purchased at the same time as your shoes, in the same last) when they're not in use, you should always have a fresh shine on them in order to put your best foot forward. A classic shoeshine runs around $3 plus tip, which we think pays major dividends; or you can invest in a good polishing set and DIY. Just as cheap footwear will sink an otherwise well-constructed outfit, the most expensive bespoke shoes will look cheap if not properly cared for, and be a disgraceful waste of money besides.

So, there you have it: our personal best practices for facing the world with grace and confidence. Just remember that the main objective in being well-groomed is appearing fresh, neat, clean. "Grooming," particularly for men, takes on a slightly negative conotation when one overdoes it. (Put down the eyebrow tweezer and self-tanner immediately!) Being well-groomed should never be confused with being overtly plucked, waxed or made up.

One final note: we feel that grooming and another G word, graciousness, go hand in hand. Looking one's best is poor compensation for a sour or surly disposition. And, frankly, we're well aware that when we're not in the best of moods, it shows on our face and in our attitude - which means that we're far from looking our best, after all.