Back in the Day

Norma and Felix, on the prowl in the park. Yes, they may seem a wee bit overdressed, but there was a method to their madness: they flatly refused to be photographed for their mug shots in the same outfit twice.

Younger Than Springtime, and Twice as Exciting

Of course, Normadesmond hasn't been 52 since '52, but you people out there in the dark don't need to know that, do you? You've been writing her faithfully all these years, begging for her return to the screen. Instead, she's deigned to bestow upon you a blog: mitten drinnen. Her friends pop in for a game of bridge now and then: Abby and Ann; Lana and Andy; poor Susie had to be carried out after the last round. Stop in and say hello; but remember, don't be late. Madame doesn't like to be kept waiting.

Hats Off to You, Darlings!

Norma, Cookie and Felix take a day trip from the home and wish you all a Marvy Weekend! And our favorite expatriate scamp makes a cameo appearance as we all play "Where's Muscato?"






From WHAT MAKES THE PIE SHOP TICK?

Avanti!

One hopes that there was enough Rumaki, Hot Crab Dunk and Swedish Meatballs for the crowd at Cookie's last cocktail party to soak up the Manhattans and Daquiris - the last time, Norma got so stoned, she drove the damn Avanti into the pool. The car turned out all right, but Norma's gold lame sheath rusted as green as the Parsley-Roquefort Cheese Balls she always brings to every party.

Always. To every party.

While We're Away

Felix, Cookie and Norma are helping us celebrate Our Birthday today.

Don't mess with 'em - they'd rather fight than give up that beehive switch.

Update

No matter how harmless they may look, do not - we repeat, do not - give Felix, Cookie and Norma a lift.

Latest Sighting...

...of Felix, Cookie and Norma:

going undercover at the Dissatisfied Dipsomaniacal Republican Housewives Convention.

Update!

FelixInHollywood, Ask The Cool Cookie, and normadesmond have kidnapped Dorothy Kilgallen, Steve Allen and Arlene Francis, and have permanently ensconced themselves on the award-winning What's My Line? panel (keeping Bennett Cerf around to play dominatrix games with). They have also, unfortunately, taken possession of Jayne Meadows's wardrobe.

Life Got You Down?

Are you feeling tired, rundown, listless? Does your complexion make the Rocky Mountains look like chiffon velvet? Do you get no kick from champagne?


If so, our highly trained staff is ready, willing and able to help you.


No challenge is too difficult for our beauty and charm professionals; and your privacy and discretion during your treatment is assured. Why, we wouldn't dream of telling anyone that FelixInHollywood, askthecoolcookie and normadesmond recently were here for what we call "The Works."


Only six months and who knows how many gallons of spackle later, and just look at the splendid results!


You, too, can benefit from our specialized treatments, including the popular Golddigers of 1933 Makeup Application Tutorial, guaranteed to land you a bank president bearing an uncanny resemblance to Adolphe Menjou.


And, of course, our graduation ceremony is the event of the season.


So why wait another minute? Sign up for the Stirred, Straight Up Beauty Treatment today. And, who knows? You may emerge such an alluring, poised, charming beauty, that you'll have eligible bachelors falling in line to wine and dine you.

Whiff with Purchase

And now, normadesmond (on reprieve from the circus) reveals his Mystery Guest...


Kudos to Gene for knowing his Youth Dew! Josephine Esther Mentzer, born 102 years ago in Corona, Queens, did it the hard way....especially at the buffet table.

Here's a well fed Estee with a rather ghoulish Crawford. It appears that Joan has just yanked an hors d'oeuvre from Estee's ravenous mouth, certainly admonishing her for being such a pig. As soon as the photographer moved on, I imagine Estee wrestled the morsel away from Joan and threw it into her little bag. Those limo rides back to the house could take forever...or 40 minutes.

Again, thanks TJB.....loved every minute of it!

And So We're Back From Outer Space...

...and not a moment too soon! The flight was murder, although we did have a faboo traveling outfit, n'est-ce pas? We hurried back - FelixInHollywood, askthecoolcookie and normadesmond, as much as we love the darlings, have a tendency to run up the phone bill with late night calls to 1-800-Manmate, empty out our good liquor, and utterly exhaust the houseboys. Paolo and Sven are patient souls, but wouldn't your patience be taxed by normadesmond ringing the buzzer at two in the morning, every morning, demanding to be bathed in asses' milk? And poor Paolo's English isn't the best, so the sweet thing thought - well, let's just say that he tried.

While TJB's away, Felix, Cookie and Norma will play!

Confidentially, we'll have to have the entire place redecorated - we're sure that the old dear meant well, but normadesmond's "taste" in artwork doesn't entirely mesh with our decor; although we'll probably have to dig the damn thing out of the closet every time the bitch comes to visit.

He IS big: normadesmond adds his inimitable stamp to our humble abode.

We're also going to have a word with askthecoolcookie about surreptiously using the car to cruise the train depots. And, waaaait a minute... that bitch stole our headscarf, too!

He can do a few tricks, some old and then some new tricks: askthecoolcookie is very versatile.

Still, when all is said and done, they kept this place running like clockwork - which is no mean feat, considering that they were basically running on cylcamate and dolls, judging by the pile of empty Tab bottles outside of FelixInHollywood's guest bedroom. Not to mention the pile of houseboys.

After rummaging through our jewelry box, FelixInHollywood helps himself to a drinkie.

And, so, we bid a fond adieu to our Guest Editors; since we're still emptying out ashtrays, throwing out empty vodka bottles, and reviving houseboys, we asked Thombeau to escort our trio out. So long, girls! Thanks for everything. We'll send you the doctor's bill for the houseboys shots.

FelixInHollywood, askthecoolcookie, normadesmond and Thombeau: girls about town, and on the lam.

* Of course, we jest! We're thrilled that FelixInHollywood, askthecoolcookie and normadesmond not only agreed to be our guests, but also did such a fabulous job of it! We hope that this inspires you to visit their blogs daily, as well - after you visit Stirred, Straight Up, with a Twist, of course. Thank you, boys!

Maybe a Sunday night in 1962, 10:30PM, EST

A normadesmond Production

A Message...

...to all you wonderful people out there in the dark: We didn't mean to be away for so long! Our real life occupation has taken over our days and nights so completely, that frivolity and fabulosity had to temporarily be put on the back burner. Fret not, darlings, we'll hopefully be up and running soon. Thanks for your patience and, of course, your love and support.

Ready for Their Close Up

Normadesmond needs your help (no, not with the gigolo floating face down in the pool). Over at his fascinating blog, The File on Esther Zidel, he has posted an extraordinary cache of vintage snapshots, taken by Ms. Zidel, an amateur papparazzo before the term had even been invented. Some subjects have been identified; others, such as the handsome lady above, remain swathed in mystery. Can you help Norma pinpoint these enigmas? Even if you remain stumped (as we sadly admit we are), you'll have a swell time looking at Esther's photographs and learning her story.