Weekly (Ha!) Feature #10

DISCLAIMER: This is a modified, updated version of an entry we originally did last year.

"J" is for...JOURNEYING.

With heartfelt apologies to ayem8y, we decided to forego jewelry as our tenth topic: honestly, our thoughts on the subject of gentlemen and jewelry are so terse and concise* (*In a word: don't. Unless you are as swankily chic as Niki de Gunzburg, or ayem8y [and so few of us are], take our word for it: you cannot carry it off.), that it hardly seemed worthwhile for us to devote an entire entry to it.

NIKI DE GUNZBURG BY HORST

No, what concerns us here is the topic of journeying - or, rather, what one wears on that journey. Once upon a time, people really did dress like Bette and Paul did when they went traveling: perhaps not as glamorously as they would have if Orry-Kelly had been designing their togs, but you get the idea: jacket and tie for gents, suits for ladies, hats for everyone.

FIRST PORT OF CALL: PAUL HENREID AND BETTE DAVIS TAKE IN THE BRAZILIAN SIGHTS IN NOW, VOYAGER (1942)

Somewhere along the line, people stopped dressing for travel. Nowadays, when we fly, we feel like weary, disapproving chaperones of a large combination slumber party and fraternity beer blast; the "ladies" all in pajamas, velour, and yoga pants, with the "gentlemen" in dirty tee shirts, shorts, and flip flops.

THE AMERICAN WAY OF GETTING PLACES, c. 1939: WILL IT EVER RETURN?

We understand, we really do. No one wants to be uncomfortable when they travel, particularly if it's a long international flight. Even if it isn't, dealing with surly security agents, cramped seating and endless delays can wrack your nerves. But that doesn't mean that any of us really want to see you in your pajamas, sans makeup. If we did, we would have married you.

OUR DREAM WEDDING TO AYEM8Y, WITH JASON, MISTRESS MJ, AND JILL IN ATTENDANCE

So, with your indulgence, permit us to share what we do when we travel abroad, which is typically a 9 hour flight. We normally travel twice a year, and our "uniform" rarely varies:

• Comfortable, well-tailored trousers in dark, tropical weight wool: black, or ideally, charcoal. They won't show wrinkles as much as lighter colors, such as khaki, would. And need we mention that they shouldn't be overly baggy (you'll look as if you're wearing a Hefty bag after a few hours) or fashion-victim tight (you'll have blood clots in your thighs after a few hours on a plane)?

• A clean, freshly pressed dress shirt. Stick with classic, basic white, or a simple check or stripe - nothing too loud or garish. Think worst-case scenarios here: would you mind wearing this shirt if the rest of your luggage never made it to your final destination?
  
  
• A lightweight V-neck or cardigan sweater. This is essential! For starters, the sweater won't show wrinkles nearly as badly as your shirt. Furthermore, airplanes can get ridiculously cold, no matter the season. Ideally, your sweater should be a thin wool or cashmere, which will better stand up to wrinkling.
  
  
• A coordinating sport coat. Should you be subjected to the nightmare of having your luggage lost, you at least will still have a sport coat at your disposal, which is a safeguard business travelers would be even wiser to adhere to. May we suggest the indispensible, classic navy blazer? Even on the rare occasions when we don't actually wear a blazer, we carry one over our arm. (It would also be wise to pack the most expensive shoes you'll be taking in your carry-on, along with a fresh change of underwear, a clean shirt, and a different pair of trousers.)
  
  
• In the spring and summer, a lightweight raincoat. In colder weather, an all-weather overcoat. These can be carried over your arm; packed neatly in your carry-on; stored in your overhead compartment; or, if you have a particularly accomodating cabin crew, hung in the closet for the duration of the flight.
  
  
• Comfortable shoes. This does not include flip flops or sneakers. Either driving shoes or very flexible lace-ups that are more pliable, and easy to get on and off, would be your best bet. As mentioned above, put the best, dressiest shoes you'll be traveling with in your carry-on.
  
  
• Small, travel- or sample-sized versions of face cleanser, moisturizer, toothpaste, and a disposable travel toothbrush. Also, a clean washcloth and a ziploc bag. Before landing, we duck into the lavatory, wash our face, brush our teeth, and throw the washcloth back into the ziploc. We also heartily recommend Fresh's Lotus Eye Gel, which instantly combats circles and puffiness; and Cosmedicine's Medi Matte, which battles shine like nobody's business. And both of these products are packaged in small, convenient, regulation-friendly tubes. Also, Visine eye drops are absolutely essential.
  
  
• Sunglasses. Because even with the eye gel and Visine, you may need them.
  

Put it all together, and voila! This is how we roll:

EN ROUTE TO VENICE'S LEONARDO DA VINCI AIRPORT

Of course, once you reach your destination, it is entirely your prerogative to doff your traveling duds and just relax:

We also make sure that we are scrupulously clean and pressed before ever setting foot on the airplane to begin with; and everything that we pack is also freshly laundered, cleaned, and pressed. For extra insurance against sloppiness, we also pack a travel-size iron and steamer. Don't laugh; but we do feel that when we travel, particularly abroad, we are, in a way, representing The American Tourist in general. If we can combat that largely negative stereotype in any way, we are glad to do so!

BON VOYAGE!